A.W

After four years of searching for a private therapist. Without any luck. Margaretha appeared as if like magic. I had looked through her work via Facebook and her website. I watched through Margaretha’s videos before contacting her to see if she had any space for sessions.
With my history of CPTSD and a Panic Disorder, I was determined to get my life back, which meant that I needed to face my past and work with healing the right way. For many years I was living through the approach “take it day by day” and forget the past motto. Only to find me on occasions, I would have mental health breakdowns and severe anxiety related to issues surrounding my past.
Margaretha initially called me via zoom to have a chat about how she may help me through this. She was such a lovely, kind lady and didn’t push me to sign up for anything, she had let me sit with her information, and she welcomed me back any time to chat.
I just knew she was the woman to help me. With such a warm heart and safe nature, I had booked in with Margaretha for sessions.
I can’t even begin to start telling you what an incredible journey this already is. I feel different in a good way, and my mind is clearer. I am now able to leave my house, exercise, talk to people and become motivated in working through who I am.
Margaretha has been working through some very personal past traumas with me, and I am 100 per cent confident that I am in safe hands.
If you are looking to letting go of pain, and are ready to start your journey with Margaretha, I can promise you that it will be the best decision for you. A.W.

Be Kind.

At the moment there is so much talk about the virus and how it is so contagious.
But did you know that the most contagious thing is actually kindness?

I know I hear you say, how can that be?
But in different studies that have been done on kindness shows the effect it has on people.

Did you know that witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone’ which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart-health.
Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is extra helpful when we’re anxious or shy in certain situation.

When a study was done practicing kindness for the self and being kind to others “About half of participants in one study reported that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth”.

Current research supports this idea. Science has now shown that devoting resources to others, rather than having more and more for yourself, brings about lasting well-being. 

Kindness stimulates the production of serotonin, without chemicals added, like anti depressants.
This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy!

What can you do to help someone?
Maybe writing a letter, calling and have a chat with someone you know is lonely, these are just a few examples but I’m sure you can think of many more.

A great website about kindness is Dr. David Hamilton. See link below and check it out!

https://drdavidhamilton.com/category/kindness-2/

Poem

A poem that I came across a very long time ago and then years ago someone had this poem at their wedding.

I’d love to share this poem with you; As far as I know, it’s unknown.

Look well to this day, for it is life.
The very best of life.
In its brief course, lie all the realities and truths of existence—the joy of growth.
The splendour of action.
The glory of power.
For yesterday is but a memory.
And tomorrow is only a vision.
But today if well-lived, makes every yesterday a memory of happiness.
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore to this day!

Have You Ever Noticed?

Have you ever noticed how often we rush to get somewhere or do things quickly, without enjoying the journey that leads towards what we want?

When I was born, I wanted to be old enough to crawl.
When I was old enough to crawl, I wanted to walk.
When I was old enough to walk, I wanted to cycle.
When I did cycle, I wanted to be old enough to drive a car.
When I was old enough o drive a car I wanted a car to go out!
When I was old enough to go out, I wanted to have a drink.
When I was old enough to have a drink and go out, I wanted a relationship.
When I was old enough and had a relationship, I wanted to get married. When I was married, I wanted to have children.
When I had children, I wanted them to grow up.
When they grew up, they left home.

And now I’m old. I look back and think where the time has gone?
The days, weeks, months, years have passed and often forgotten what I did have and what there was to enjoy.

So do stop and listen at times and enjoy the present moment. Be happy to enjoy what you’ve got, and can do now. The present moment is all you have. The rest is either in the past or in the future.

Eckhart Tolle ones said; ‘gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life NOW is real prosperity’.

Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy life!
Although life can be a roller coaster, it’s up to you to enjoy the ride!
Enjoy the moment NOW!

Written by a lovely lady I ones met at the gym!

Looking through different lenses!

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but in seeing with new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he aimed to show his son, how poor people live. So they arrived to a farm of a very poor family, as his father considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, did he like the trip.

“Oh, it was great, dad” – the boy replied. „Did you notice how poor people live?” “Yeah, I did”- said the boy. The father asked his son to tell in more details about his impressions from their trip“.

“Well, said the boy, we have only one dog, and they have four of them. In our garden there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We have got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have the endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them.”

The father was stunned. He could not say a word.

Then the boy added: “Thank you, dad, for letting me see how poor we are.”

What Is Anxiety?

According to the Oxford dictionary, it says; trouble state of mind, worry, eagerness! Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear that can be mild or severe. When you start to look online, there are so many answers, but the truth is we all feel anxious at times, an athlete or sports person would say; anxiety helps us to perform at our best if used positively.

Anxiety is part of life, and at the moment, there is probably a lot about it because of the coronavirus. When anxiety becomes a problem, it’s time to reach out to friends and or family. Also, there are many good resources on the internet and lots of help out there. The Clear Headspace Cornwall system works incredibly well by overcoming anxiety issues.

There is a great Ted talk about this by Time Box, the creator of the control system.
Have a look, and it would be great to hear what you think!

Happiness, what does it mean?

Happiness is not something ready-made; it comes from your own action!
(quote by Dalai Lama)

There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he aimed to show his son, how poor people live. So they arrived at a farm of a very poor family, as he considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, did he like the trip.

„Oh, it was great, dad” – the boy replied. „Did you notice how poor people live?” „Yeah, I did“- said the boy. The father asked his son to tell in more details about his impressions from their trip“.

„Well, we have only one dog, and they have four of them. In our garden, there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We‘ve got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them.”

The father was stunned. He could not say a word.
Then the boy added: „Thank you, Dad, for letting me see how poor we are.”

International Woman’s Day today!

What does this mean? All over the world special woman are remembered for making changes that we are now all benefiting from.

According to the International Woman’s Day website, here are just a few;

In 1910 Clara Zetkin from Germany proposed the idea of an International Woman’s Day. International woman’s day was honoured for the first time in 1911 in Austria, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland. More than one million woman and men attended IWD rallies campaigning for woman’s right to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. However less than a week later, the tragic ‘Triangle Fire’ in New York City took the lives of more than 140 working woman, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants.


Also, some facts about voting for woman, organized by Robert Patemann the first right for woman to vote came, this was in 1906 in Finland who were then still part of the Russian Empire and the rest of the woman received the opportunity to participate only in 1917. In 1918 woman were allowed to vote in the United Kingdom and in 1917 the right to vote in the Netherlands, just to name a few!

Just a few sailing facts although there many, many more!
Dame Ellen MacArthur sailed solo from Plymouth to Newport, Rhode Island single handed, and the latest one Greta Thunberg who is born in 2003 and is a leading voice now for climate change. These are just a few of so many inspirational woman on this planet that deserve to be remembered and mentioned for the changes they are making and have made in the past.

Some inspiring woman in my life are my Mum for giving me life, my Daughters for inspiring me, my friends for being there for me, people from the Tanya’s Courage Shop, and so many more woman that made an impact in my life.
Over the years the world has witnessed a significant change and attitude shift in both woman’s and society’s thoughts about woman’s equality and emancipation.
Here are some inspirational quotes from amazing woman;
“When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.” – Helen Keller

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” – Oprah Winfrey

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.” – Byron Katie

“As women, we must stand up for ourselves and stand up for each other. As women, we must stand up for justice for all.”
“No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, you are BEAUTIFUL.
“Always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody says distract you from your goals.” – Michelle Obama

As there is still a lot of debate about equality between man and woman we need to keep working and making changes to the world by being there for each other, together we can make a difference!

Who are the most important women in your life? Would be lovely to hear from you!

Get in touch

Kindness! by David R Hamilton

We’re hearing so much about the coronavirus and how contagious it is. Did you know that the most contagious thing is actually kindness? It’s been tested scientifically. Scientists at Harvard and Yale measured the contagiousness of kindness out to three social steps. That is, when you be kind to someone, that person will be kind or kinder to someone else (1 social step), because of how you made the person feel, and the recipient of that kindness will be kind or kinder to someone else (2 social steps), and the recipient of that kindness will be kind or kinder to someone else (3 social steps). In practice, the contagiousness of kindness is ‘circular’, like the way a wave travels outwards in a circle when you drop a pebble in water. So what happens actually is that the person you are kind to is actually kind or kinder to 5 people over the course of the next 24 hours (1 social step), and each of those 5 people are kind or kinder to 5 people over the next 24 hours (2 social steps), and each of those 5 are kind or kinder to 5 people (3 social steps). This is due to the typical number of interactions people have. That’s 5 x 5 x 5 = 125 people benefitting from a single act of kindness. Each time you are kind, you really are impacting far more people than just the person you help!!! Kindness is much more contagious that any virus. Love,

my signature

How to keep good feelings when times are difficult?

The state we are in determines the way we react. What do I mean by this?

The way we feel whether it’s sadness, angry, lost, upset and so on is what we call a state.

When we realize that we are in a state that’s not very helpful for us at that moment, what can we do?

The first step is realizing that we always have a choice no matter how difficult a situation is and you can choose to stay in the that state or change your state by becoming aware of it and realize that we have a choice. So how do I change a state so that I can be in a more helpful and calm way?

I collect good feelings and use it as an anchor to access when I’ve become aware my state is not helping me right now.

There are of course many different ways of changing an unhelpful state, but this is just one of them that I use when times are a bit more challenging and I feel I need to relax my mind and body.

Every time I see something I love like; for example; when I’m walking and see the beautiful light on the water and as I this I pretend that I catch it in my hand, squeeze my fist together and then give this wonderful feeling a place inside me, I do this with many things that give me pleasure, while I squeeze my fist I let the feeling that it gives me flow through me and store it in a safe place where I can access it, then when I feel low or down or whatever is not very helpful then the first thing is as always I take a deep breath and then squeeze my fist and pretend I step into that feeling, let it flow right through me and notice the feeling of joy, tranquillity and calm coming over me, breath it in and then look at the situation with new eyes and listen to it with new ears. Its called an anchor!

It’s like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz when she stepped into the red shoes and clicked them 3 times together saying there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home and then finds herself home again.

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What can you use as your anchor? A great quote I came upon; Worry, sadness or anger doesn’t solve anything it only feeds it!

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